Mannina Cellars Syrah, Walla Walla Valley, 2012, $32: Gamey and ready to rumble a voluptuous wine showing beautiful legs and a sensuous mouthfeel dripping with fleshy, forward fruit. That’s the fun of it, in fact-it reveals more about you than it does about the product.Īs a template to see how effective this scale is in real-time bloggery and reviewageness, let’s pull three stray Syrahs from the Sargasso Sea of samples sitting in my cellar. And what’s more, you have to commit to one-and only one-grouping. Look it up.īut, see there’s the rub: That’s the game. In fact, there is an entire Facebook community called ‘Drew Barrymore Is Not Hot’. So, what do you do? Kill the brainy one, marry the goofy blonde and bump nasties with the… But hang on nothing about that doughy, pasty, annoying, man-jawed harpy who looks like she has a mild case of Down Syndrome says ‘schwing’. And then you’d have to kill someone who would likely injure you in the process. Carmen Diaz would seem to be a shoe-in for the first category, but that leaves you having to marry your intellectual superior, dooming you to a life of emasculated pouting and couch-sleeping, not to mention that your children would end up looking Chinese. * For straight humanoids of the feline persuasion, go the three Friends dudes, the Three Musketeers-or better yet, the Three Stooges. Actually, the trio from Friends is a lousy example because it’s too easy. One guy named three girls-the trio from Friends is a good example-and you had to rate them based on your willingness to 1) engage in a carnal, one-time act of physical union 2) bond heart and soul in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony or 3) waste.
Let’s reference the game we played as kids.
#JAMESON FINK PLUS#
For us, I have invented a simple, inclusive, decisive, ingenuous wine scale which is, because there are three choices and that’s it-with no metrosexual pluses or minuses or wishy-washy deviations allowed-the ne plus ultra wine scale, and everybody else can just shut up now and start using it. I feel that I represent the ‘new age’ of wine critic one who is unashamed of his alcoholic, drug-addled, semi-coherent Neanderthal lifestyle, where the collars are blue, but never the blood, where where people named Jameson are drowned during swirlies given them right after Social Studies.
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